Being a Balanced Mom - Is it a myth or is there a way?

I’ve been having a hard time trying to balance my life and all the hats I wear.

How much time do I spend on the floor with the kids? How much time do I spend cleaning the house? How much time do I spend helping my friends and family and ignoring my own issues for a bit? How much time do I dedicate to my husband and our relationship? How much time do I spend on myself and my own hobbies and interests…and showering and wearing something resembling jeans…?

What is normal? What is acceptable? What is my problem? Should we be Jack of all trades?

“I have to remind myself that that’s only half of the maxim. “Jack of all trades, master of none, *is often times better than master of one*” is the full phrase!”

— Caitlin Jensen

So I posed the question to my friends and family via social media. And got amazing answers! But they all fit into 3 categories which is how I’ll organize them here.

But first, pin this for future reference…

1. IT’S FREAKIN’ NORMAL

   Chaos is okay! That’s life @danielle anderson & @allyson imam

   Join the club @heather floyd

   Being human is overwhelming. Day by day is the way @julia hill

   Welcome to motherhood @cindy palmer

   For me it isn’t ever equal. Some days are more house, some are more kids. Some days I put emotional energy into my husband, some days less @lorren lemmons

   Absolutely how it is! Nailed it @ashley shope

   Motherhood is so hard @haley morley

2. MINDSET SHIFT

   Live with imbalance and be okay with it. Redefine your expectations and redefine your success @rebeccaj414

   There are times and seasons in our lives and sometimes a season is just a day @weholman

   Once you have an idea or plan, life throws you a curve ball. Just try to be perfect at trying and you will find success in that @deanna forsell

   It’s okay to just be okay at everything and excel occasionally in one area @caitlin jensen

   Life happens in chapters. But you choose how long the chapters are and what the focus is @john curtis

   I think we just have to be kind to ourselves and remember that we can't be everything for everyone all the time. It's not possible @kristin curtis

   Someone told me that when you can't do everything, you do a little of everything. That is a good definition of balance @cari mcclellan

   Your husband is your partner in crime! Your challenges bring you closer and just might be your glue! @leeann lyman

   I think the biggest thing we all struggle with is giving ourselves grace & recognizing all of the good we are actually accomplishing @paige nash

   Two pieces of advice. 1. Moderation in all things. 2. No one is everything @sydnewilk

   A balanced life isn't full of perfection. If it was, it wouldnt be balanced. It is allowing room for good days and bad days (or hours, or minutes, or weeks) and recognizing you are enough on all of them @kambriebarney

   You can really only do one thing at a time. And, if you are only doing one thing everything else is being neglected. Therefore, can you at any moment ever be in perfect harmony? The answer is no @david a bednar

3. SOLID PLANS TO PUT INTO PLACE

   Fill your love tank to be able to stand rough days @joyfulfamilylife

   Check out the minimal meal plan by @livefreemiranda @rebeccaj414

   Pick the things that are important to you in the moment. Give yourself grace for what you can’t finish or handle at the moment @heather floyd

   Focus on the 4. Family, friends, feelings and fun. Who can I help? Who can I help feel love today? How can I bring joy to myself and others? @julia hill

   Every day is a new day that we have to choose what needs our attention the most @ashlee anderson

   See if others can help pick up the slack. Or include the kids and husband in serving others so you are still spending time together @candice sanders

   Make a double batch of at least one dinner every week to save and freeze for a busy day @candice sanders

   Ask your husband, “What is the one thing that would be most helpful for you today? Is it a clean kitchen? A nice meal? The laundry done? Watch a show together?” Then that takes priority @caitlin jensen

   Time block your days. Give more time for things you love, like cooking and move the things you hate doing all on one less stressful day. Emotional days are still bad or good and life happens but it gave me a sense of control and peace knowing I was making an effort towards doing a better job @hayley bailey

   If I feel burned out, I let myself have a chill day @haley morley

   Be flexible enough to change plans when needed (I often have a "plan B" for things). Check out flylady.net for ideas you hadn’t considered @paige nash

   For me, I can't schedule more than one thing really per day. If I schedule more than one thing I'm a goner. Pathetic, but true. I know my limits right now...and those are them. (That is what helps me be flexible because when something comes up, if I feel good, I can say yes.) @sara stout

   Funcheaporfree.com/blockschedule You just have to budget your time and hope for the best! @kotiloss

   When you say no to something that is nice but not necessary, ultimately you are saying yes to something that is essential @david a bednar

“A friend shared a great analogy. A Chinese plate spinner is able to balance multiple spinning plates, not by spinning each of them all the time, but by spinning the plates that need it and then moving on to the next plate. Sometimes we need to focus on one aspect of our life and the other aspects get a little neglected and come crashing down. Instead of beating ourselves up about it, we need to start over, balancing and spinning and moving from one thing to another.”

— Candice Sanders

I am a Christian woman and many of my friends are too. There were a lot of great tips about asking God for help and advice and relying on Jesus. But I’ll just put this one quote here.

“When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities.”

— Ezra Taft Benson

AMAZING advice right?! I’m working on figuring out what works for me and changing my mindset and making my expectations my own, not ones that someone or society has put on me.

Above all, develop connections with those you love, be perfect at trying and caring and give yourself space and grace.